In past generations, bullying was often brushed off as an adolescent rite of passage. Back then, few were concerned about bullied kids. But today’s mental health experts aren’t so quick to dismiss the phenomenon, recognizing the devastating psychological effects bullying can have on young people.
The rise of online bullying
It was inevitable that bullying would make its way online. Today, bullies don’t lurk only in the schoolyard; they also hide in the shadowy corners of the internet, waiting to inflict emotional pain on unsuspecting adolescents.
This phenomenon, known as cyberbullying, is a toxic blend of harassment, intimidation, and humiliation, all played out in the virtual public square. With just a few clicks, abusers can unleash a torrent of hate, leaving their victims feeling vulnerable, scared, and totally alone.
Over 15% of high school students are victims of online bullying. It’s even harder for students who identify as LGBTQ+; 27% of them report being tormented by anonymous internet abusers. This is a heartbreaking reminder of the discrimination and hostility they face every day.
In some ways, cyberbullying is worse than traditional bullying because it can happen at any time and in any place. Many young people have near-constant internet access, so they can be targeted morning, noon, and night.
The lasting impact of online bullying
Hurtful comments made online can be shared and reshared, forcing victims to relive the original trauma again and again. Online bullying therefore frequently involves continual experiences of pain and humiliation.
The good news is that teen bullying leaves evidence. Individuals can save screenshots, URLs, or texts as proof, creating a record can be used to hold the bully accountable and protect the victim. By documenting the bullying, parents of bullied teens can show teachers, school administrators, or even law enforcement what’s going on, making it easier to take action.
Is cyberbullying illegal?
The answer is a resounding yes. In most countries, cyberbullying is considered a serious offense, punishable by law. In fact, politicians are increasingly taking action against cyber harassment because they see the great harm it’s causing.
In the United States, cyberbullying can be prosecuted under federal and state laws, including the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, the Interstate Communications Act, and the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act.
Different types of bullying
Teenage bullying can take many forms, including
- Emotional bullying: Inflicting emotional distress by using technology to repeatedly intimidate or humiliate someone
- Verbal bullying: Name-calling, insults, or online threats
- Social bullying: Spreading rumors or sharing embarrassing info or photos on social media’
- Sibling bullying: Using cyberspace to intimidate a sibling
- Cyberstalking: Using the internet and other technologies to harass or stalk someone
- Trolling: Posting nasty comments to provoke someone
- Impersonation: Pretending to be someone else online to destroy that person’s reputation
- Adult bullying: Grownups using the internet to relentlessly harass a child or teen
If someone has a risk factor for bullying, what does that mean?
Some adolescents are more likely to be bullied than others. Here are the risk factors that can put a teen in the bullseye:
- Disability or chronic medical condition: Teens with disabilities or chronic medical conditions can be targeted because cyberbullies love to pick on those they perceive as different or unable to defend themselves. This can lead to online teasing, exclusion, or even physical harm.
- Neurodevelopmental disorders: Teens with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, or learning disabilities can be prime targets for bullies. Bullies often thrive on reaction, and teens with neurodevelopmental disorders may react differently or more intensely, which can egg the bully on.
- LGBTQ+ identity: Teens who identify as LGBTQ+ often face online harassment, including hateful messages, derogatory language, or outing them without consent. This kind of cyberbullying can be especially painful, as LGBTQ+ teens may already be struggling to gain acceptance.
- Minority or immigrant status: Teens from minority cultures, ethnicities, or nationalities are frequently targets of cyberbullies, who may use social media or text messages to mock their accents, traditions, or beliefs. They may also spread false information or stereotypes to try to make such teens feel like outsiders. Online harassment can be especially tough for immigrant teens who already face challenges adjusting to a new country.
- Being a new student: It can be tough to adjust to a new school. Cyberbullies sometimes prey on this vulnerability, using social media or texts to mock or intimidate new students. They might spread rumors, share embarrassing photos, or send mean messages, making it even harder for the student to fit in.
- Unique body shape or size: Cyberbullies often target teens who don’t fit the “ideal” mold, whether they’re overweight, underweight, or have a distinctive facial or body feature. A favorite tactic is sending cruel messages to try to make such a teen feel self-conscious and ashamed of their body. This kind of online harassment can lower self-esteem and prompt anxiety and depression.
- Social isolation: Teens who are lonely or have few friends are often targets for cyber abusers, who may create fake social media profiles to trick them into sharing personal info or engaging in online conversations that can be used against them. This kind of online harassment can make socially isolated teens feel like they have nowhere to turn.
Signs of bullying
Being bullied online can take a huge toll on teen mental health. Here are some warning signs that your teen may be a victim of cyberbullying:
- Anxiety when online: If your teen becomes visibly nervous when online, it could be that they’re being bullied online and they’re too afraid to tell you. Be aware of the subtle signals your child gives off when they’re on edge, so you can know when something’s amiss.
- Avoidance behaviors: Watch for sudden or dramatic changes in your teen’s internet use, as cyberbullied teens sometimes avoid going online to shield themselves from abuse.
- Secretive behavior: If your teen is being cyberbullied, they may be evasive about their online activities. For example, they may quickly change the subject when you ask about their social media accounts. Such secrecy can signal fear or embarrassment.
- Excessive monitoring: If your teen is targeted by an internet abuser, they might start obsessively checking their online accounts, staying vigilant about checking for hurtful posts.
- Social withdrawal: If your teen is spending more time alone, they may be the victim of an online tormenter. Withdrawal can be a sign that online abuse is taking a toll, as teens may try to escape the emotional pain by isolating themselves.
Why do people bully?
People who grow up in environments where aggression and violence are common can become bullies. Because they witness family members taking out frustrations on others, they start to believe that this kind of behavior is acceptable and may adopt it themselves.
Whenever such people feel a twinge of disappointment or other negative emotion, they seek opportunities to make themselves feel better by lashing out at others. Often, they choose easy targets: people who can’t defend themselves. Other reasons why people bully include the following:
- Insecurity and low self-esteem: Individuals may try to build a sense of self-worth by putting other people down.
- Peer pressure: Some people make fun of vulnerable individuals to follow the crowd or fit in with a particular group.
- Lack of empathy: People who don’t care about others’ feelings are at risk of becoming abusers.
- Personal struggles: For some, bullying is a maladaptive way to manage issues like abuse, trauma, or mental health problems.
- Cultural or societal influences: People who internalize discriminatory beliefs may target people who are different from them.
Consequences of cyberbullying
Being bullied online can leave deep scars that can last a lifetime. The following are some common negative outcomes.
- Anxiety and depression
- Low self-esteem
- Suicidal thoughts
- Difficulty sleeping
- Poor academic performance
- Social withdrawal
- Loss of interest in activities and hobbies
- Feeling hopeless
- Difficulty forming healthy relationships
How to prevent cyberbullying
To keep your child safe from cyberbullies, take the following steps:
- Seek help from mental health professionals and support groups: If your child has been victimized by a cyberbully, consider a therapist or support group. They can provide the tools and support your child needs to cope and recover.
- Educate your teen about online risks and safety: Discuss risks like cyberbullying, online predators, and explicit content. Show your child how to identify and report anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
- Keep an eye on online activity: Monitor your teen’s online activity, including their social media accounts. This not only helps ensure their safety online but also allows you to step in if you notice signs of cyberbullying.
- Set up privacy controls: Help your child stay safe online by setting strict privacy controls on their devices and accounts. Use parental controls to block access to sites and apps that could put them at risk, and make sure only friends can view their social media accounts.
- Document bullying incidents: If your child is being targeted by a high school bully or other abuser, keep a record of incidents, including screenshots, dates, and times. This will help you track patterns and provide evidence if needed.
Support for bullied teens
If your teen is struggling with the emotional fallout of cyberbullying, mental health treatment from skilled counselors can help in multiple ways:
- Challenge maladaptive thought patterns: A therapist can help your teen recognize and challenge distorted or maladaptive thought patterns that contribute to depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem and replace them with more balanced and constructive ones.
- Foster self-acceptance: Therapy helps teens accept themselves unconditionally. By practicing self-love, they develop a positive self-image and learn to treat themselves more kindly and compassionately.
- Develop coping skills: A clinician can teach your teen coping skills to help them triumph over adversity and effectively deal with anxiety and stress. By learning these powerful strategies, your child will be better equipped to confront mental health challenges head-on.
Final thoughts
By applying the information and strategies in this article, you can more easily recognize the risks and signs of cyberbullying and help keep your child safe from online bullies.
However, if your teen becomes a victim of school bullies or online abusers, reach out to a licensed therapist. They can help your teen deal with the emotional effects of online harassment so that it won’t undermine their happiness and sense of self-worth.